KELLI COMES TO FLORIDA

KELLI'S FIRST 24 HOURS IN FLORIDA:
Kelli visited me in Miami several times and romance and longing was waging
war with inertia and the fact that she was seeing a boy.
Finally however she was free as was I and she moved down to live with me in Miami. Uunfortunately this was not to be the end of the story. The day she arrived I was distracted and did not generate the affection she deserved after her journey. The very next morning we had to get right in the car and drive five hours to a friend of Kelli's wedding in St Petersberg.
She did warn me that it was a celebration and she would be drinking and having fun and in my limited capacity I did understand that.
I did not know these people well but I did know that the groom and his friends had just completed training that would turn them into killing machines to do what Bush needed done in Afghanistan. So I put on my suit and kelli a pretty dress and we drove to the wedding. As is always the case with us we got there moments after the ceremony.
The guests were like nothing I have have ever seen. Wedding attire was flip flops and shorts. Every T shirt had an opinion. The father of the bride (a small town lawyer in good shape with a rock hard beer gut) took one look at me and came to the conclusion that I must be crashing - I don't think anyone ever dissuaded him. There was allot of drinking and not much in the way of conversation other than the amazing realisation that everyone but me (and possibly Kelli) knew all the words to Leave This Longhaired Country Boy Alone and sang it repeatedly.
I spent most of the evening in my car listening to the radio and walking my dog up and down the beach. Afterwards there was to be a reception at a kind of condo timeshare affair.
Since Kelly was having a good time and as promised getting inebriated I spent some time on the phone and Internet seeing if I could find us a room - I could not.
I stayed as long as I could stand it over an hour though it seemed like days then told Kelly we really had to leave. She said she would like to stay a bit longer and I told her I would wait in the car till such time in the near future she was ready to depart. Finally after sitting in the car for another hour I went back up to tell here we had a 4 or 5 hour drive and it was 3 in the morning and I would really like to go. Voices were raised and The Father of Bride appeared and put his face about an inch an a half from mine and started yelling about southern womanhood and threatening me. I did not take this too seriously and raised the flat of my hand to his fist and asked him to calm down. Suddenly from behind me one of the soldiers ponced. I didn't see him coming and am ashamed to say did not have the opportunity to land even one punch. He landed a myriad of blow mainly to my kidneys and nose. He would know how he just fished training and was stupid drunk. after all whats the point of giving someone a Gun if the can't shoot it.
He got to try out all his moves.
I made my way to the the street and the bar across the way, Kelli was crying. When I got to the mirror I was surprised that they let me in as my face and shirt was covered in blood.
On the ride home I told Kelli to tell me everything I did wrong as many times as she wanted to and then to please not bring it up again - she came pretty close to keeping her word. We found Miami about 8:00 the next morning. I was in serious pain for several months and our relationship never recovered. After six months she moved back to Memphis.
I often wonder if we had never gone to the Hillbilly Wedding if things might have turned out different. Most likely not.