Editing
I had allot of trouble with sound.
Both ambient ant levels.
Otherwise I got most of the shots I needed and it went together fairly well.
Both ambient ant levels.
Otherwise I got most of the shots I needed and it went together fairly well.
posted by J Postal at
11:19 AM
7 Comments:
excellent lighting - lots of contrast and saturation of colors. the opening shot of the kid at the back of the bus with the red and green is awesome.
main problem is sound, as you've said. not sure how you'd go about fixing these things but something should definitely be done to correct - or maybe just distract the viewer from - those issues.
dialog is nicely written but sometimes seems a bit stale in deliverance. this is not a big issue for me though.
quicken the cuts between some of the lines of dialog - for example, the timing between the kid's "we're in the middle of nowhere" and the driver's response "everywhere, somewhere.." is too long.
very entertaining piece
excellent lighting - lots of contrast and saturation of colors. the opening shot of the kid at the back of the bus with the red and green is awesome.
main problem is sound, as you've said. not sure how you'd go about fixing these things but something should definitely be done to correct - or maybe just distract the viewer from - those issues.
dialog is nicely written but sometimes seems a bit stale in deliverance. this is not a big issue for me though.
quicken the cuts between some of the lines of dialog - for example, the timing between the kid's "we're in the middle of nowhere" and the driver's response "everywhere, somewhere.." is too long.
very entertaining piece
The lighting is great. The dialogue seems choppy in a lot of places. And the ominense during the bus scene is totally different between the bus driver and the kid.
The story is very interesting and the characters are pretty well developed. Personally i believe that cussing gives a certain image.
A swear once in a while is dramatic. A character that swears alot is a bad guy or a hot head. But to have this nervous kid, who seems scared to say these swear words is a little tough for me to follow.
I like the whole story and it was well-executed. Work on your stunts for the gun scene though.
editing: the transition between the bus driver speaking and the kid speaking is weird, maybe you could pull dome staticy feedback into the shots of the kid. ater the man says, "boneyard" there is a weird cut. there may be some extra information there that needs to be cut out.
plot: boy gets off of bus in rough area of town, man tries to mug him, man and kid relate to each other somehow. mugger ends up not taking anything from the kid.
story: revolving around this kids bad luck, his hard times. he isnt any bettter off that the mugger, in fact he is worse off.
mise-en-scene: the lighting and the props are great. i really impressed that you were able to find the bus and the smoke machine.
Intro scene with the boy sitting on back of bus and pans away, I can see the cameraman's head in the lower right hand corner.
The lighting is good but the soiund is inconsistent. It may do good to have a constant background track of traffic and such at the filming location.
Scene starting at 3;14;04 the thief asks if the boy has a wallet but he is holding one in his hand - maybe think of redoing - does it matter??
also get rid of quick clip starting at 04:30;21.
at the end of the final scene have a longer take of the thief walking away.
it is a entertaing piece. fix some of the minor problems and you will be fine.
I love the bus! Good acting, but something a bout the bus driver is not very convincing. The pistol whip seems like it could be filmed better. It's kind-of cheesy. The transitions between the different sounds neeed to be adjusted somehow. I think a soundtrack will definately spice things up.
hey jon, good show! I like the cutting of most of the scenes. I was impressed amount of material we shot and the continuity of the shots. cut the shot of the theif knocking down the kid a little shorter it seems a little jjerky. and at the end you need a little more disolve.
plot was good some of the scenes could use a little more work transitino of shots.
the handleing or mise-en-scene of some of the shots was a little choppy but seemed hard to transition.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home