Devil In My Bed - First Draft

DEVIL IN MY BED
a moving picture by
Jonathan Postal

A scratchy old timey version of Devil in My Bed that sounds like it’s coming from a cheap record player.
A shot of Billy in bed sleeping.
Billy Sunday is about 30 years old, a bit scruffy and sleeping in a single bed in his apartment. The apartment is spartanly furnished with just the bed, some curtains, a rug, dresser and a desk with an old manual typewriter on it with papers scattered about.
There is an old fashioned record player and records and books piled neatly about the floor and other available surfaces. Billy’s clothes are hanging from the end of his bed. A pair of old 501’s, western shirt, and leather car coat. There is a pair of boots by the bed set up neatly.
Billy is sleeping in a wife beater.
A closer shot shows Billy and on the night table aside from books and a glass of water is the only object in the apartment that pegs this as the 21st Century for sure and that is a cell phone.
The cell phone rings (the music fades) and Billy stirs. On the second ring he fumbles around for the phone and switching on a light examines the ID on the phone.
There is a close-up and we see the name FELICITY and when the phone rings again there is a fade to black.

We hear two voices talk as the camera travels over a bar a country song outro on the juke box. The shot is from the POV of the bartender pouring two beers then carrying them over and placing them in front of the hands of two men. One’s hand is holding a cigarette and the other’s holding an almost finished glass of beer.

Billy: (Speaks with an Arkansas accent) You see that magnificent bitch I was stroking today. She was leaking all over my fingers. Damn I could barley hold her keys, kept slipping out of my hands.

Magico: (Speaks with a very slight Cuban accent) She was beautiful, that’s a fact.
What the hell were you doing to her to get her so make that sound?

Billy: The problem wasn’t getting her to make the sound it was to get her to stop once she got started.

Magico: Those older models will do that.

Bartender: You boy’s done with those.

Billy: No mam. You can just leave those fresh ones we’ll be getting round to them soon enough, thanks much.

The camera cuts to a shot of the two men. We see Alehandro Roosevelt Magico on the left in a sharkskin suit and short brimmed hat. He is also in his early 30’s.
His shirt is open colored and over his lapels. Billy is wearing a dark long overcoat over a western shirt of a solid dark color.

Magico: What was she, a ‘70 442?

Billy: You got the ‘70 dead to rights amigo however it was a 350 rocket we were dealing with today. Which against popular opinion I would rather have under my hood than a 442 any day. Sometimes there is a place we visit called just right and today that place was a 1970 Olds Cutlass with a 350 Rocket and bench seats.

Magico: Much better for romance. You know Billy one day you’re goanna have to start working on some newer cars maybe God forbid hook one up to a computer.

Billy: I fucking hate computers and cell phones. I’m a luddit, I only have this piece of shit cause the boss forces my hand. and so far, thank God push has not come to shove. People know the go to guy when they have a real vehicle that needs some TLC.

Magico: Maybe before they all rust you’ll get something published and stop working in a garage. Of course first you’ll have to let another human being actually see something you’ve written.

Billy: I write plenty just never anything worth reading.

Magico: If you let me have a look sometime….

Billy: Magico, let it be for Chistsakes.

Magico: OK, OK, OK…Hey, Look, no what don’t look there is an angel on runway 2.

A wider shot includes the men and the jukebox, pool table and door.
It is through the door that Felicity Cher Deliqua enters.
She is hauling a ‘gator suitcase in one hand and a boombox in the other. She puts them down and gives the place the once over.
Felicity is a dark haired doe eyed creature with a bob and red lipstick.. She smells nice too. She’s wearing a dress and jacket, though she takes the jacket off and drops it on the suitcase.
She approaches the boys.

Felicity: Hey Cowboy, got a quarter for the jukebox.

Magico : He’s not a cowboy he’s a famous writer nobody’s allowed to read. Be nice and maybe he’ll put you in a story no one will read.

Felicity: I don’t care what you write about me as long as it isn’t true.

Billy: (slightly impressed) Ah, Dorothy Parker. That deserves a quarter and a drink.

Felicity: Actually Felicity Deliqua of Lafayette Louisiana,

Magico: Allow me. (takes a quarter out of her ear and hands it to her) A drink?

Felicity: First things first.
(She goes to the jukebox and plays Sleep When You’re Dead)
I adore A 15 I don’t mind what the song is but it always seems to be a good one. A 15 is just lucky for me.

Magico: Why is that?

Felicity: No reason does there have to be a reason?

Billy: Ignore my friend. Lets get you a drink. Bartender kindly get this girl a drink she looks parched. What will you have?

Felicity: A Dirty martini with Stoli would be wonderful.

Bartender: We only serve beer here.

Billy: Recommend the Paps Blue Ribbon, there are folks up in Milwaukee who are under the illusion that Budweiser is the king of beer, but here in Memphis we are under no such delusion we know the King to be The Blue Ribbon.

Felicity: In that case I will have the king, in a glass please.
(Bartender gets drink)
This place has lots of charm.

Billy: It’s lousy with charm.

Magico: Everywhere I look I see nothing but charm, but nothing so charming as yourself.

Felicity: You flatter me, don’t stop.
(Drinks arrive)

Billy: (Raises his beer. The other do in kind.) Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That’ll teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Felicity: Mr. Hemingway.

Billy: Actually Billy Sunday of West Memphis Arkansas. And this is my partner in crime Alehandro Magico.

Felicity: Billy, like Billy the kid. So you are a cowboy.

Billy: Weirdly enough I was named after Billy the Kid.

Felicity: You’re daddy was an admirer of gunfighters.

Billy: My daddy though William H Bonney was the dumbest son of bitche to ever walk the earth. He killed 21 men, one for every year of his miserable life most in the back or by surprise when they was unarmed, sometimes when they were sleeping. Couldn’t ride a horse or read.

Felicity: So why did he name you for him.

Billy: Well my daddy said, “Son I may not be ‘round much and the males in our family had a predisposition tword grandiose acts of stupidity and when you think you might have a bright idea you best should consider your namesake and think again.”

Magico: And nobody cares about my name.

Felicity: Of course we do babe. Magico. Is that like magic?

Magico: As a matter of fact my Grandfather was the greatest magician in Cuba in the 50’s and changed his name to Magico. (He pulls flower from his sleeve and hands it to her) He invented the illusion of the Drawn a Quartered Virgin where a beautiful woman would have her arms and legs bound to four black stallions and a velvet cloth draped over her body. Then he would whip the horses and they would thunder off ripping her apart. My grandfather would take the bleeding bundle in his arms and drop it in a tank of water, lift the velvet and the girl would emerge whole.

Felicity: That’s incredible. So you’re a magician.

Magico: a very poor one I’m afraid. When we came over on the last big boat lift I was an infant and my Grandfather wouldn’t come. Cuba was his heart. He though Castro would never last.
My father he hated magic so what I know I’ve had to teach myself.
Billy and I make our living fixing cars.

Billy: True enough.

Magico: Anyway I must disappear I know a third wheel when I see one.

Felicity: It’s been a pleasure and more.

Billy: See you tomorrow brother.

Magico: Good night. (Billy and Felicity put their heads together as Magico heads for the door. Before leaving he turns to look back at them-then really does disappear in a puff of smoke. No one notices.)

Billy: He’s been carrying those flowers around in his sleeve for the last month like a teenager with a rubber in his wallet waiting for this chance.

Felicity: Would you think less of a girl who had the same desires as a man and took action?

Billy: I would not. I believe every person to be on equal footing when it comes to desire.

Felicity: In that case I wish you would kiss me. (They Kiss – She bites his tongue and when he pulls back she laughs and engages him again.)

Billy: Would you come home with me?

Felicity: I’d love to – after just a few more drinks.

They return to his apartment and fall on the bed. The apartment is sparer than in the first scene having no curtains, rug or acumens of any kind. Billy puts a classical record on an old record player.

Billy: So I can’t help but notice that you’ve brought your wardrobe along. Is there a story here?

Felicity: Well…. I was living with a man.

Billy: A Man

Felicity: Well really a dog.

Billy: We’re all dogs.

Felicity: True. He seemed steady, you know not too exciting but steady and I though that right now seemed like a good time to give steady a whirl.
So he says – Come live with me and I’ll buy you a house and a car.

Billy: Never bought the house or the car?

Felicity: No he bought me the house and the car, and he could be very sweet. Then one day we had us a fight and I tell him I might well hit the road Jack. And he says – you better not drive off in the car on account it’s in his name. So I says what about this lovely house you got me. And he tells me that’s in his name too. So I say you really didn’t get me a house or a car, you fuck. I never asked you for a house or a car in the first place so just shove them both where the sun don’t shine and I walked.
He played me like a hock shop guitar.

Billy: And so you just walked.

Felicity: Not before a few things flew. But I didn’t take one damn thing he paid for. Everything I have is mine.

Billy: Lets make love and go to sleep.

Felicity: Sounds like a plan.

Blackout
We are back in the first scene and Billy watches the phone ring again.
Blackout.
We are in the apartment several months later and it is full of clutter. Aside from the curtains and rug there are piles of magazines and coupons. There are clothes everywhere and makeup and bottles and glasses and dishes and anything else you can think of.
Billy’s at the typewriter, Felicity looks to be asleep in the bed.

Felicity: Baby it’s late come to bed.

Billy: I just want to work on this for a while.

Felicity: You’re not still mad at me are you?

Billy: (Turns toward her) I was never mad.

Felicity: You know how much I love you.

Billy: Sweetheart I love you too. I really do. Now go back to sleep.

Felicity: I’m gonna put my stuff away and straighten up tomorrow.

Billy: You don’t need to do nothing crazy.

Felicity: No, I am – and you know I’ve been looking for a job.

Billy: I know you have darling. There ain’t nothing wrong – I’m about as happy as I know how to be on account of you. Now sweet dreams sleep tight.

Felicity: Don’t let the bedbugs bite. (She closes her eyes)

Billy works some more then holds the pages considering. He looks at his watch and looks to be pressed for time. Instead of destroying or safly hiding the story he camoflages it in the general chaos on the desk. Then puts on his coat and kisses the sleeping Felicity on the way out the door.
After a while Felicity wakes up. She’s wearing a slip. She lights a cigarette and takes a sip of wine from a glass on the nightstand.

Felicity: OK, I’m going to straighten this place up or die trying.

She goes about moving piles of stuff not really making much difference. She comes upon what Billy has been writing. Generaly he destroyes what he writes and she’s never read any of it.
She light a cigarette and paces around the room reading it.

Felicity: Devil In My Bed by Billy Sunday…hmmmm…oh hell…Lord…You Fuck…(laughs)…Why Billy you dope this isn’t half bad.

She notices several copies of the Oxford American on the desk and finding and envelope addresses it and heads out to mail it.
Billy comes home from work while she’s gone.
He looks for the pages he wrote and when he can’t find them gets adjitated and tosses thing around.
Felicity comes home.

Felicity: Baby you home…you’ll never guess what I did………oh I guess you guessed.

Billy: Felicity what the fuck did you do with my story. I asked you not to read them.
When I think they’re fuckin’ ready I’ll let you read them. Where did you put it? Please just give it fuckin’ back.

Felicity: Billy please calm down. That is not in my power.

Billy: What do you mean it’s not in your power?

Felicity: I mean it’s not in my power, I no longer have it in my possession and you should be fuckin’ grateful that some like myself loves you enough to kick your ass into gear. If you’re a writer write for Gods sake – don’t tear up every thought you have because you’re too much of a coward.

Billy: I’m not a coward. What did you do?

Felicity: and you’re a baby – now you’re whining.

Billy: I’m not firkin’ whining. Just tell me what the hell you did.

Felicity: I sent it into that Oxford American magazine you’re always readin’.

Billy: (sinks into a chair) Oh fuck.

Felicity comes behind him and puts her arms around him.

Felicity: Billy baby, you’re selling yourself short. Have a little faith. Trust me on this.
If I didn’t believe in you I wouldn’t have sent it in.
Do you think I’m stupid?

Billy: No not stupid, really messy and scattered but
Your on of the smartest people I‘ve run across.
But really kinda a slob.

Felicity: (pops him on the head then kisses him) then just trust me.
Do you know what felicity means?

Billy: No.

Felicity: It means a source of happiness and good fortune. That’s why my Mama named me that – they thought I was gonna bring happiness and good fortune into their lives. Just shows you how wrong a person can be.
Billy let me be your happiness and good fortune.

Fade to black.
Billy watches the phone ring again
Fade to black.

Billy is in the shower Felicity a dress half on.

Felicity: Billy this make me look fat.

Billy: Darling nothing makes you look fat.

Felicity: This makes me look fat.
(She walks out – comes back in holding 2 dresses)
Which one you like better.

Billy: They both look perfect how about the black one.
Whatcha getting all dolled up for.

Felicity: No – I think the blue one. Baby we’re going out celebrating your meeting tomorrow.
I bet you’ll be coming home with your first real assignment.
(Starts finishing up her makeup.)

Billy: Felicity it’s already way late, most everything is closed. Aside from that I don’t want to go out drinking and getting all fucked up I gotta go see this guy first thing in the morning.

Felicity: Well I’ve been cooped up here forever and I’m bored out of my skull. We don’t even have a goddamned TV here.

Billy: I hate TV

Felicity: You hate everything. I’d rather watch TV than watch you playin with your space bar. I’m going out an have so fun you can come or not.

Billy: Hey wait…

Door slams
Billy gets out of the shower and looks confused.
We see him around the house looking worried

Felicity comes through the door of the bar at dawn.
Her shoes are in her hand and her stockings are torn

A country song is playing on the jukebox. And at the bar are two guys with shaved heads and leather jackets having a morning beer. Spider and Lucky

Felicity: Hey boys, buy a girl a drink. You’re a big ol’ boy where you from.

Spider: Texas

Felicity: Hell, I heard they grow ‘em big out there – guess they wasn’t lying’

Spider: Get the lady a beer. What’s your name missy.

Felicity: Felicity, but if you’re buyin’ you can call me missy all night, or cuddle fish or whatever you like. What do you go by?

Spider: Call me Spider, and I don’t recon it’s exactly night anymore. This here’s Lucky – he don’t talk much.

Lucky: Ain’t much to say.

(The Drink comes.)

Felicity: What you are observing here is an imperfect act of desperation on my part.

Spider: You look sad come here to Spider and I’ll make it all better.
(He puts his arm around her and try’s to kiss her. She squirms away)

Felicity: I have a boyfriend.

Spider: Missy you are playing fast and lose in a game and you don’t even know the rules. Now come here. (He try's to kiss her again.)

Felicity: You’re just gross, and not a gentleman. (She throws her drink in his face.)
Spider: Bitch.
(He starts toward her but Lucky holds him back)
Lucky: She worth another talk with the cops?
Spider: Shit.
(Shakes himself loose and goes back to his beer.)

Felicity finds a pay phone and calls Billy. She’s crying.

Felicity: Billy please come and get me I wanna come home.

Billy pulls up in his car and lets her open the door and get in.
He’s more dressed than usual as he was going to the interview.

Felicity: You gonna make your appointment.

Billy: I might - I might not. didn’t sleep last night.

Felicity: (Sheepishly) Me neither.
(Billy just gives her a cold stare.)
Hey. I might have almost been raped and you just don’t give a flying fuck do you – you son of a bitch.
Well fuck you I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.
(As Billy takes a slow turn she jumps out of the car)

Billy: Hey Where you going?

Felicity: Anywhere you’re not.

Billy: Felicity, I had just about enough of this.
(Slams the breaks and gets out of the car)
I’m only made of flesh and bone and you are a trial.
(She backs into a wall and he picks her up over his shoulder and tosses her in the car. They drive off)

Fade to black
Billy more awake hears the phone ring one more time
Fade to black

The garage Magico is under a car on a trolley and Billy is sitting on some tires

Magico slides out.

Magico: Hey man you look pretty bad. Check this out I’ve been working on it might cheer you up.
(He takes off his hat waves his hand over it and it disappears and appears precariously on Billy’s much larger head. Billy just tosses it back without a smile)
Billy: I don’t know what to do I love her so much it hurts.

Magico: I know man.

Billy: I owe her so much and she means no harm. She has a good heart and that’s the most important thing – and rare – a good heart…but I just don’t think I can take much more of Mr. Toads wild ride. It’s getting old.
Maybe I’m getting old.

Magico: You are getting pretty old. I’d tell you about my woman but I don’t even know where to begin. But I know, I know…Felicity – speak of the devil. Hey Felicity.
(Slides back under the car)

Felicity is in the doorway of the garage with her suitcase and boom box.

Felicity: I’m leaving Billy. This is it; I’m not messing around.

Billy: (Stands up and takes her hands. And looks into her eyes) I know.

Felicity: I really mean it Billy.

Billy: I understand.

Felicity: You’re not going to try and stop me this time are you.

Billy: No.

Felicity: You know I do love you.

Billy: Yea, I love you too. Do you have a place to stay?

Felicity: I can stay with Suzi, I’m gonna miss you.

Billy: I won’t be forgetting you anytime soon.
They kiss gently and she walks out of the garage.

Fade to Black
Billy looks at he phone – it’s the last ring. Deciding if he will answer.

The End